Feeling the Christmas Crunch
The Holidays are approaching and another Christmas my kids are still without their father. I don't make enough money to give them the Xmas they are use to. Last Christmas was okay, I had enough to make them happy. Picking up toys or gadgets here and there and storing them before Christmas was a smart move. This year times are hard and I am living pay check to pay check, above
and beyond my means. I have hope and faith, I will not give up. Each day I wake up and just before I get out of bed each morning, I say to myself, thank you
God for this day and to give me strenght so that I may build towards a better life for me and my family. That's what keeps me going. I asked my kids to make a list of five items they may want for Christmas and I will choose from the list what I can get them because mommy and daddy don't make as much money like we did before we move. They said to me, okay Mom, we will make a list. They gave it to me yesterday. I smiled when I read the list and thought to myself,
I can handle this. CC
Wife of a Felon (Chapter 8)
After receiving the phone call that dreadful day. Jonathon and I saw each other at home later that evening to talk about how to handle things and our finances. Should we move to the east coast or should we stay on the west coast. Later that evening we sat down together as as a family and talked about moving. My son was against it, my daughter said okay. We told the kids their father was going to be working in another state on a real estate developement deal and that he would away for a while. The kids were okay with that. My son did ask how long? We told him for almost a year, at the time. Of course we knew longer but I couldn't tell them exactly how long. Now that we knew he would be leaving us, Jonathon had to tell his job. We decided to wait until he got his bonus from his job. He had been with the company for 3 years. The year before they gave him a forty thousand dollars bonus. We were thinking this would keep us afloat for a while and I would continue selling homes and make commercial real estate deals. Money was going to be tight and I had to learn how to live on a very, very strick budget. CC
On The Run!
I hope everyone had a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. There was a lot of food at my Parents house and I tried to eat everything. We had a traditional Thanksgiving, Turkey, ham, cornbread stuffing, etc., deserts bountiful. I was happy to be around family. My husband, Jonathon was sad because he wasn't here to share Thanksgiving with us. I told him not to worry next year you will be with us. He mentioned the HR Bill may have passed and he may come home sooner than August of next year. I said to him I will check on the website for the HR Bill 3072 and see whats going on. Jonathon says he has learned his lesson. He will never deal with bad or (
dead beat) clients again. All I could say was, I know Honey. Any way, I have to go to work later. My second job at the mall for 5 hours today. We'll chat some more later, for now I have to go to my parents house and get more FOOD! CC
A Time to Celebrate!
Thanksgiving is only two days away. I love the Holiday Season. I have so much to be thankful for right now. I thank God everyday for what he has given us. It gets very lonely without my best friend, husband and daddy around. Jonathon and I laugh all the time. I miss those moments. Although we talk on the phone it's not the same as being face to face. I am looking forward to helping my parents, brothers and my sister with Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday and Thursday. I will be making New York Style Cheese Cake with Strawberry Topping. Yum! My daughter wants us to a make a Chocolate Cake with chocolate icing. We have a lot to do on Wednesday evening. Jonathon feels sad he is not here to join us for Thanksgiving. I told him it's okay because you will never miss another one. You'll be home with us. CC
It's Friday!
It's Friday and it has been a good day. Very busy at work, Real Estate is picking up. Maybe? It's Pizza night at my house. Thanksgiving is next week. We're getting ready for the Holidays. I thank God for the blessing he has given us. I do have a lot to be thankful for. Two jobs, Two kids, my son is a teenager and my daugher is a tween, I have my hands full. They are my Angels. They help me with the house cleaning and my daughter helps with cooking. We miss daddy very much and I am ready for him to come home to us. Yes, on Thanksgiving we have a lot to be thankful for. CC
Kids Night Out
Today the kids and I went out for dinner. This is a rare occasion. We don't get to eat out much because everytime I get a paycheck it goes out the door to pay all the pending bills I have stacked up on the dinning room table. We usually eat out at least once a month. Go into a restaurant and sit down and be served dinner. Even if it's a hamburger! The simple pleasures in life. They don't have a clue what's really going on. I have kept them so busy and pre-occupied with everyday life, that my two kids love their mom and dad so, they are willing to wait until things get better. I tell my kids things are different now until your daddy comes home from his job and we are living on a budget. They have been very understanding. I love them so much. They are what keeps me going. CC
Wife of a Felon (Part 7)
Time was running out for Jonathon's court date. It was getting closer and closer and his Attorney was not sure how things would turn out. He informed Jonathon at the most he could get two years, first offense. To me that sound like ten years, in other words a very long time to be without my husband and the kids without a father. By this time I was getting very worried and ill. I had no ideal what my future would be like. I had absolutely no way of know it was going to come to this. My life today, struggling with two kids. Jonathon hired a Criminal Lawyer who was a referral from a friend. I asked Jonathon was he good at representing people in court. Jonathon said, my friend said he was. Now remember, in the beginning when all of this started, Jonathon wanted to represent himself. Not a good thing to do. He realized some time ago he should have had an Attorney with him when the Men in Black showed up at our house the second time. To this day, I believe his attorney did not represent him the way he should have. I don't know, just something about the way things were handled. Maybe he needed to be more agressive. The day finally arrived, Jonathon went to court and met his attorney there. I was at work praying that the Judge would give him "
home confinement". Later that afternoon, Jonathon called to tell me the news. The Judge gave him two years. I nearly passed out! What! I said, and all I could say at that moment was, God why is this happening? My husband said to me, I'm sorry baby. I hung up the phone not able to say another word. CC
Taco Night
My friends and family were just here to visit and make Taco's and Strawberry Margaritas. It was a fun evening. We had 3 pounds of ground beef with lettuce, sour cream, salsa, mexican cheese mix and diced tomatoes. They were very tasty if I do say so myself. My sister was here with her 2 kids, she's divorced. My brother, separated, and his friends. I have only one sister and she knows Jonathon is serving time in prision. I didn't tell my brothers yet. I have another brother who lives in another state and he knows. Jonathon said when he returns he will explain what happened. For now my family and my two kids are better off thinking he's working out of state and will be finished with his development soon. I just told me parents last month where he is, it was hard, my dad understood. My mom wanted to know if he was going to be okay. I was tired of trying to hide the truth and I finally sat them both down to tell them what was going on. They took it well. All my friends now know the truth. I had to tell them because I knew eventually I would need their help. My friends and my sister have been there for me all this time and I am grateful to them. I have never had to ask them for anything until now. I feel blessed to have them in my life. I'm feelining sad now, I have to go. We'll talk again soon. CC
Working Single Mom
I remember when I made a lot more money. I had to move to another state. We packed up and moved from the West Coast to the East Coast. I will get to that story later. A year ago we bought a house thinking we would rent it out and become investors. The house sat vacant for six months. We never got around to renting it out. Only God knew what was in store for us. I now work for a real estate company, but I am not a realtor in this state. I actually work in the office 9 to 6 and it's hard for me. I have always had the freedom of coming and going to the office. Now I have to punch a time clock (first for me) in/out my hours and a hour for lunch. I know this is how it is done in the work place, but for me I have been a realtor for the last 10 years. The real estate market is not moving as rapidly as it was a year ago. I don't know what to do with my life. I hear other realtors complaining about the market and how slow it's moving. Home prices are still too high. Everyday I tell myself, this is what I have to do to make ends meet and have a roof over our heads. The kids talk with their father on the phone almost every day. I told him to call only once or twice a day. He's on a minutes plan at the facility. I believe it is 300 minutes a month and 400 minutes for November and December, both Holiday months. We write to each other almost every week and the kids write too. We love getting mail from daddy. CC
Wife of a Felon (Part 6)
Jonathon hasn't been working as a Lawyer for almost four years now, he started working for a Development Company four years ago and Loved his job. A steady pay check instead of waiting for his clients to pay. He did worked as an attorney for nearly 10 years. His court date was set for the summer of 2005 and he had not mentioned any thing to his bosses. They didn't know he may have to terminate his employment with them. He wanted to wait until he saw the Judge and was handed a sentence. Jonathon was hoping for home confinement. I thought that would be great, just go to work and come back home. He wouldn' t be able to go anywhere else. We thought, we could live with that for two years or less. (Ha!) For nearly 9 months we knew the day would come when he had to face the Judge in court and possibly, maybe, get sent to prison. I was hoping that day would never come. I kept asking myself, Is this a dream? Is this really happening to my family. After seventeen years of marriage I may loose my husband for a length of time. Jonathon said to me, If the Judge should sentence him it could be for two years at the most. I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to throw up. I was not angry, maybe just disappointed in my husband for what he had done. He couldn't tell me all the details. He said it was best I didn't know everything about the case, but I wasn't stupid. I knew what was going on. I knew Kimble had talked him into doing something he shouldn't have done. CC
Having a Great Day
Today I feel blessed to have a roof over my head and my children are not sick. Being a single parent is hard for me right now but I am surviving. Yesterday I worked all day at my second job, they scheduled me to work all day at the mall. My sister watched the kids later that day. I try to keep snacks or prepare lunch for them when I am not around during the day or on the weekends when I am working. They miss me and both of them will call me at work just to ask when am I coming home? Or Mom, can I have the turkey breast in the fridge? They would call the store and ask me these things. I told both of them not to call the store unless it was an emergency. Only call me on my cell phone. I will always keep my phone in my pocket and it will vibrate when they call, I will know it's you, if I don't answer I am with a customer and I will call you back. They said to me, OK Mom. I told them this job is only temporary. I am working the extra job to make more money for Christmas. So, the next day when I went to work, they called the cell phone and waited for me to call them back. I went to the bathroom to return the call or I waited until I got a break. I am very proud of my kids. CC
Wife of a Felon (Part 5)
After Jonathon decided to get a lawyer things started to get bad. I even heard my husband's name mention on the radio regarding the case and all of the people involved. When I heard it on the radio, I rolled my eyes upward and that moment I assumed everyone in the world knew about it. No, only the local people may have heard. I was really afraid because I did not know how all of this was going to turn out. Little did I know my nightmare had not started. Jonathon had his court appearances and the lawyers started costing us more money. We told basically no one, my aunt knew and one of my best girlfrinds knew about it. I couldn't tell any one else. I was already shocked by the whole situation. Everyday we went through life as if noughting was happening but Jonathon and I knew this would all end soon. He would be gone and the kids would want their father. What was I going to tell my kids, my friends and family? CC
Happy to be Back
Today is a good day, the kids and I went out to the mall to walk around. My son had an eye examine this morning and my daughter and I walked around. We didn't buy anything, just looked. I guess you can call it "
window shopping". Money is tight and we have to watch every penny that comes in. I hate asking people for money because I have never had to borrow money from anyone my whole life. Since the age of 18 I have always work for my own money and for the thrill of it my friends and I would work two jobs. Those years were great. I didn't get married until I met Jonathon at 31. He was studying to be a lawyer and studying for the bar exam. We met working in a law firm and the rest is history, which I will eventually share with you. CC
Too Tired to Write
Tonight I am very tired as you can see. I was up very early this morning posting on my blog. I felt I needed to write. I want to continue with my story but I am exhausted from lack of sleep. I will continue tomorrow with my life's story. Thanks for listening or reading. CC
Somethimes I Get Depressed
Sometimes I get depressed and I snap out of it eventually. I have trouble sleeping through the night. Six months ago was very hard for me, but now it's much better. Although I do have two jobs its not enough to make ends meet. I am still juggleing the bills that are due and pay my mortgage. I just can not catch up or get ahead. I feel bad because for the first time in my life I can't pay all my bills. I still say life isn't fair, but you work through it. I have learned to let it go. I can't pay all of them. I can rebuild my credit, it's just going to take some time. I'm not mad at my husband for not being here, I'm upset with him for not listening to me four years ago. My children are strong and they are waiting for their father to return and so am I. Jonathon calls us everyday to check on us and see how we are doing. I tell him often how I feel and no one feels worst for what happen than he does. He tells me he is very sorry and will I forgive him. All the time he mentions to me, we are what keeps him going until he comes home to us. CC
